1 You told Santa what you wanted. He gave it to you first thing in the morning. Plot twist: we all know Santa isn’t real. We know who really gives the gifts.
1 You were so different than your biker dad with his long hair and more like your chubby banker Grand Pop. But you all have a versatile streak in you.
1 “Blonde Hair Billy” was your best friend. Everyone seemed to love him. Billy is great at seducing your Papa. You saw up close, your Papa’s ass cherry get taken by Billy just like he did to you this past summer. Dads have holes too ya know.
1 Cousin Darren would always rough fuck me when he was between GFs. Little did he know I was the one breaking up his relationships bc I’m a home wrecking slut. I think on a subconscious level that Darren knew and that’s why he always had that look on his face when he was about to go balls deep.